|
WASC
Committee Plots to Release Wasps - Students Panic
It was a somewhat quite Friday afternoon at the front lawn Friday,
march 5. As students watched the fear factor event, another event
far more potent was in the brewing. The WASC (Western Association of
Schools and Colleges) committee was putting the finishing touches on
an evil plot they were organizing to strike terror in the hearts of
Beverly students. At approximately 1:23 PM, two assailants who have
yet to be identified released a large bucket filled with thousands
of wasps. The WASC committee, to fulfill its sadistic plans had made
good on their promise and released a swarm of bees that immediately
plunged upon the unaware audience. The panic started when three
students first spotted the buzzing horde coming at them at high
speeds. They pointed to the stinging intruders and yelled "BEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!"
The students and teachers looked to the sky to see thousands of bees
lunging upon them. They ran for their lives, but the bees were
faster. It was a stampede - the students
disregarded all human life
but their own. One teacher was reportedly used as a human shield
against the wasps as one student held the aging teacher between him
and the swarm of bees. Hundreds of students were trampled to death
and countless others sustained other injuries including disfigurement
and disembodiment. It was a grisly scene. According to the on-campus
BHHS sprinkler and irrigation specialist, the scene looked like an
ant colony running from a broken pipe line. As dull as the analogy
might be, other witnesses reported to have had near death
experiences and various couples told each other how much they meant
to one another in case they perished in all the commotion. FOX
is currently negotiating a contract for a TV-movie with the couple
as well as with other students who said to have seen the holy spirit
as the swarm descended upon them.
Assistant
principal David Hoffman runs for his life as the swarm of bees
lunges upon him
(above)
Students run for their lives
It is common knowledge that the real
meaning of WASC is Witchcraft And Satanic Cult. The seemingly
endless polls about what students think about block scheduling is no
more than test questions to see who is vulnerable to be snatched by
the cult. Although that is widely known, most thought the Witchcraft
and Satanic Cult was a pacifist group... that is until March 5.
According to inside sources, WASC's goal was to incite mass rioting
by means of creating a major tragedy. In fact riots did in fact
break out. Students were so riled by the incident that two students,
who apparently had superhuman strengths (most likely due to the flow
of adrenaline) were able to rip a trashcan from the metal chain and
steal the trashcan. The administration says it will "find the
culprits of this utterly heinous crime". Other students ran to the
parking lot, and after discovering the Mercedes Benz's didn't
protect them from the swarming bees, they ran to the adjacent Sempra
Facility where they jumped over the fence just to land in a pool of
bubbling sulfuric acid.
(above)
Student is trampled to death by the stampeding crowd.
Ten
minutes later his face was covered with bees. The degree of
stings rendered his face unrecognizable after the incident. His
family asked us not to publish the picture out of respect for him.
This story is still unfolding. Early reports say that WASC has
released wasps at other schools in the surrounding areas as well.
Beverly Underground will be sure to keep you posted as developments
in this shocking story occur.
|
